9:20 PM EST: Europe and its ancient capitals are safe to be destroyed at a later date by austerity, unemployment, unforgivable debt loads, and the disappearance of the EU. Three quarters of the world’s population is now safe
1:20 PM EST: NRA calls for armed security guards in schools, saying that children were now vulnerable in their classrooms.
12:38 PM EST: Korean Pop Star Psy’s “Gangnam Style” becomes the first youtube video in history to reach 1 billion views. According to YouTube spokesperson “PSY’s success is a great testament to the universal appeal of catchy music– and er, great equine dance moves. In the past, music distribution was mostly regional. It was more difficult to learn about great artists from around the world.”
Noon EST: Another billion people have been saved. Hanoi is still standing as the calendar rolls into the 22nd. So, is Jakarta
11:58 AM EST: The National Guard has asked the citizens of Harrison Township, Michigan not to mistake a test of their major alarm system as a signal that the world is ending. However, the organization did not offer any proof. “The testing and the so-called Mayan Apocalypse are unrelated,” said Dan Heaton, Selfridge spokesman. “It just so happens that they fall on the same day. Since we have a 365-day mission, we need to move forward with testing, exercises, etc., in an expedient fashion.”
11.42 AM EST: The NRA suggests that all schools have armed police to protect against another massacre like the one in New town.
11:35: AM EST: The threat of global destruction may have ended early, depending on which version of the Mayan calendar is used. According to a press release from The Lodge at Chaa Creek, “As the Maya calendar rolls over in Belize with the end of the 13th Bak’tun and the beginning of a new 5,125 year cycle, the celebrations continue in Belize at The Lodge at Chaa Creek, according to marketing administrator Larry Waight” It sounds like a cheap trick to keep people from panic
.11.00 AM EST: Another two billion people saved! Date turns from 21st to 22nd in Beijing, Shanghai, Singapore, and Hong Kong. Perth also saved
10.47 AM EST: According to the AP, “Dozens of Michigan schools canceled classes for thousands of students to cool off rumored threats of violence and problems related to doomsday scenarios based on the Mayan calendar”
10:38 AM EST: Sen. John Kerry to be nominated as Secretary of State today.
10:34 AM EST: best tweet about end of the world via USA Today– “Ricky Gervais: I’m watching that movie “The Day after tomorrow” at the moment. Strangely reassuring”
10: 27 AM EST: E! Online offers best firms for the end of the world: “Planet of the Apes”, “Dr. Strangelove”
10.25 AM EST: MTV publishes “end of the world” playlist, includes “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette and “Till the World Ends” by Britney Spears
10.15 AM: Number of world’s people safe: Approximately: 1.5 billion. Australia, New Zealand, Japan.
Still at risk: 5.5 billion. U.S., Europe, China, India, Latin America, Mexico, Africa. Russia
10.07 AM EST:
Parts of the world are well into the 21st of December, the end of the 5,125-year cycle in the Mayan calendar, the celebration of the “Cosmic Dawn.”
So far, nothing has happened, but in parts of the world, the 21st is barely underway.
A check of cities around the world shows that some are still standing. Most of New Zealand appears to be intact, and it is now 4 AM on the 22nd.
Tokyo is also safe, as the calendar turned past midnight an into the 22nd in Japan
The real threats come in an hour, when the 21st ends in Beijing and Shanghai. Between them, they have over 30 million residents, so the catastrophe could be overwhelming.
Douglas A. McIntyre