A listener named Susan wrote into Suze Orman’s Women & Money podcast with a problem that costs divorced retirees real money every year: a Social Security Administration phone agent gave her flatly incorrect information about claiming on her ex-husband’s record. Susan is nearly 67, was married for 27 years, and her ex earned far more than she did over their working lives. When she called SSA to ask whether filing on his record would beat her own benefit, the agent told her she could not file on him until he either claimed his own benefit or died.
Susan’s reaction, read aloud on air by co-host KT: “He is remarried and I have no contact with him. I don’t expect I’ll ever learn from him whether he’s applied for Social Security. This seems crazy.”
Suze’s response was blunt: “Everything that the Social Security agent told her was 100 million percent wrong.”
The verdict: Suze is right, and this mistake is expensive
Susan does not have to wait for her ex to file or die. The agent was wrong on the central rule, and following that bad guidance could have cost Susan years of higher monthly checks she was already entitled to collect. With the 2026 Social Security COLA set at 2.8%, every month a divorced spouse delays an eligible claim because of bad phone advice is a month of permanently forfeited income.
The actual rule for divorced-spousal benefits has three requirements: you must be 62 or older, you must have been married to the ex for at least 10 years, and you must currently be unmarried yourself. Susan clears the first two by a wide margin.
Then comes the rule the SSA agent botched. If your ex has already filed for his own benefits, you can claim on his record immediately once you meet the other tests. If he has not filed, you can still claim on his record as long as you have been divorced for at least two years. You do not need his cooperation, signature, or knowledge. His remarriage does not block you. Your claim does not reduce his benefit by a dollar, and his new wife’s potential spousal claim does not reduce yours either.
How the math actually works for a divorced spouse
Social Security pays you the higher of two amounts: your own full benefit or 50% of your ex’s full benefit.
Consider an illustrative example. Say Susan’s own benefit at full retirement age works out to $1,000 a month, and her ex’s full benefit is $3,000. Half of his is $1,500. Susan would receive $1,500, not $1,000 plus $1,500. The structure is a top-up, not a stack. If her own benefit instead came in at $1,800, she would simply take her own, because half of his benefit is lower.
Claiming early changes that math sharply. A 30% reduction for filing before full retirement age can turn an $1,800 hypothetical into roughly $1,260 for life. That penalty is permanent.
The variable that decides the outcome
The single factor that determines whether divorced-spousal benefits help you is the gap between your own earnings record and your ex’s. If your ex out-earned you for most of the marriage, half of his benefit will likely exceed your own, and the filing is worth pursuing the moment you qualify. If your earnings were comparable or higher, your own record wins and the ex’s file is irrelevant.
KT asked the follow-up that trips up many widows: “Even if her ex is remarried and she waits until he dies, is she entitled to anything?” The answer is yes. A divorced survivor who was married at least 10 years and did not remarry before age 60 can collect up to 100% of the deceased ex’s benefit, not just half.
What to do before you call SSA
- Pull your own numbers first. Log into your ssa.gov account and note your projected benefit at 62, full retirement age, and 70. That is your floor.
- Estimate your ex’s benefit. You will not see his record, but you can approximate from his peak earning years. Compare half of that figure to your own number.
- Verify the three eligibility tests in writing. Age 62, 10-year marriage, currently unmarried, plus the two-year-divorced rule if he has not filed.
- If a phone agent says no, request a supervisor and cite the rule by name. Ask for the determination in writing and the regulation reference. One bad call is not a final answer.
The broader lesson Suze keeps hammering is the one Susan almost learned the hard way: a single SSA phone call is not the last word on your retirement income.
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