When you set up a family trust, are you legally obligated to share it with the people listed in it? Is it wrong to not give the beneficiaries access to the trust? What does the law say about what you can and can’t do about giving access to a trust? All that and more as we dive into the drama of Reddit.

A concerned mother is wondering how to deal with the drama of withholding the funds in a family trust from her daughter, and she wants to know if she’s being too protective. She took her concerns to the people in r/AmItheAsshole, and here is what they said.

Please remember, that all the comments in the thread, and this article, are opinions. Please speak to an expert before making any decision about your trust.  

The Question

The author of the post says that when she found out she was pregnant, her parents set up an investment fund on her child’s behalf in order to help her pay for college when she grows up. (The author called it a trust because English is not her native language). Apparently, the investment fund grew very well and can now pay for much more than a college education.

However, now the daughter is 18 and asked for access to the investment fund and to have it transferred into her name. The author of the post said no. As expected, family drama followed with people taking sides in the conflict. The author reasoned that it is too much money for a young person to have all at once and that it would be better for the two of them to decide how to use it together.

She asked the community if she was right to deny her daughter access to the fund in the fear that the daughter might waste it all or get into trouble.

The Community Response

The vast majority of users who commented on the original post were in agreement: it is a very bad idea to give a young person complete control over so much money. And they had a few good reasons for saying the author should not give their daughter access to the account.

First, the grandparents set up the fund for her education, not as a gift. It was their intention the money go to pay for her schooling.

Second, the money doesn’t have to be given to the daughter in order to pay for that schooling. The author of the post can pay for her daughter’s education directly from the account without giving anybody else access.

Third, the daughter has no legal claim on the money. No matter what the grandparents said or promised, the author of the post is the one who owns the account and it is hers to do with as she wishes. If she were an honorable woman, she would use it to pay for her daughter’s school.

There is nothing wrong with withholding money from young people because you fear they might use it in the wrong way. It is a parent’s responsibility to take care of their children, and that includes being a wise steward of their education funds.

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