Many people want to leave money to their children or grandchildren when they pass away. That is far from universal, however. Family relationships can sour, and children or grandchildren can fall short of expectations in ways that feel genuinely painful, not just disappointing.
When that happens, knowing your options makes all the difference. You have real choices here, and your right to direct where your estate goes after a lifetime of work deserves to be protected.
You don’t have to leave an inheritance to family, but you need to make a plan
No law requires you to leave money to your children or grandchildren. Spouses occupy a different legal category: most states give a surviving spouse the right to claim an “elective share” of the estate regardless of what a will says. Children and grandchildren, however, carry no such automatic entitlement. Parents, siblings, grandchildren, and extended relatives generally do not have the same legal protections that spouses do, meaning the person creating the estate plan has broad authority to decide whether these family members inherit anything.
There is one notable state-level exception worth knowing. Louisiana, because it derived much of its civil law from France and Spain rather than England, continues to follow a concept known as “forced heirship,” which imposes certain restrictions on a parent’s ability to disinherit their children. Specifically, forced heirs in Louisiana are children under the age of 24 at the time of the parent’s death, or children of any age who, because of a mental or physical condition, are permanently incapable of taking care of their person or administering their estate. If you live outside Louisiana, those restrictions do not apply.
The bigger danger for most people is simply doing nothing. A will is held by just 31% of Americans, while only 11% have a trust. In total, 55% of Americans have no estate plan at all, leaving their wishes and their loved ones unprotected. When someone dies without instructions in place, state intestacy laws take over, and those laws distribute assets strictly along bloodlines. Intestacy law is based solely on bloodline. If you have no spouse and three children when you pass away intestate, all three will get an equal share, including any child you might have preferred to receive nothing.
The solution is a clear, legally sound estate plan. That means working with an estate planning attorney to draft a will, establish a trust, or put in place both. One critical detail: disinheriting someone requires a clear and unambiguous statement in your estate planning documents. Leaving a name out of your plan is not enough. A court could assume the omission was unintentional and award that person a share of your assets, especially if they are a close family member.
Strategic Tools for Restructuring an Estate
Two tools deserve attention beyond a standard will. First, a Revocable Living Trust transfers your assets at death without going through probate, which is a public court process. Assets held in a trust avoid the probate process entirely, meaning a disinherited child is not automatically entitled to notice and their consent is not required. That privacy can reduce the opportunity for a disruptive legal challenge.
Second, beneficiary designations on bank accounts, brokerage accounts, retirement plans, and life insurance policies operate completely outside your will. Out-of-date beneficiary designations override your will every time. Updating Transfer on Death (TOD) and Payable on Death (POD) designations directly on each account is a straightforward step that ensures those assets reach your intended recipients regardless of what a will says.
A no-contest clause, which strips an inheritance from anyone who unsuccessfully challenges your will, can discourage frivolous litigation. You can include a no-contest clause in your will, providing that if anyone unsuccessfully challenges it, that person will forfeit all inheritance. However, this clause has minimal effect in the case of a fully disinherited child, who already stands to receive nothing and has little to lose by challenging.
Consider whether you’ll change your mind, or want to support future generations
Disinheriting family members is a consequential decision, and one best made with a clear head rather than in the middle of peak frustration or anger. Before closing the door entirely, it is worth considering whether a conditional structure might serve you better than an outright exclusion.
As long as you are competent, you can always change your plan to include a child in the event that you reconcile. That flexibility cuts both ways: you can also make a conditional bequest that only triggers if specific circumstances change.
For example, if your concern is that an heir will waste money or has made choices you disapprove of, you have options beyond a complete cutoff. You could create a trust that releases funds only when certain milestones are reached, such as completing a degree, purchasing a home, or maintaining steady employment.
The Power of an Incentive Trust
An incentive trust is a legal arrangement that ties distributions to behaviors or achievements you define in advance. Unlike a traditional trust that may provide regular distributions without restrictions, an incentive trust ties distributions to specific behaviors or achievements. The purpose is not to limit beneficiaries but to encourage them to pursue goals that reflect the values of the person creating the trust.
The conditions are highly customizable. Some examples include education, where beneficiaries receive distributions after completing a degree or maintaining certain grades; employment, where funds are provided once the beneficiary secures steady work; and financial responsibility, where distributions depend on creating a budget or avoiding excessive debt. For families affected by addiction, an incentive trust can be a valuable tool: you can set conditions that promote sobriety, such as requiring regular drug testing or completion of a rehabilitation program, with funds released only if the beneficiary maintains a substance-free lifestyle.
One practical note: incentive trusts are most effective when they include objective measures, such as proof of graduation, income tax returns, or written confirmation of employment. Vague conditions invite disputes between beneficiaries and trustees, and poorly defined conditions can lead to misunderstandings, while overly rigid terms may discourage creativity or individuality. Working closely with an estate planning attorney on the language is essential.
Whatever direction you choose, a financial planner and an estate attorney can both add value here. Together, they can help you build a plan that reflects what you actually want, protects the people and causes you do care about, and holds up if it is ever challenged.
Editor’s note: This update adds the 2025 Trust & Will finding that 55% of Americans have no estate plan and only 31% hold a will, clarifies Louisiana’s forced heirship rules (children under 24 at the time of death, plus permanently disabled children of any age), and notes that simply omitting a child’s name from a will is legally insufficient for disinheritance under most states’ omitted-child statutes.
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