I’m 63 and my children and grandchildren have greatly disappointed me and I don’t want to leave them any inheritance

Many people want to leave money to their children or grandchildren when they pass away. That impulse is far from universal. Family relationships can sour, and children or grandchildren can fall short of expectations in ways that feel genuinely painful rather than merely disappointing.

When that happens, knowing your options makes all the difference. You have real choices about where your estate goes after a lifetime of work, and those choices deserve to be protected.

You don’t have to leave an inheritance to family, but you need to make a plan

No law requires you to leave money to your children or grandchildren. Spouses occupy a different legal category: most states give a surviving spouse the right to claim an “elective share” of the estate regardless of what a will says. Children and grandchildren carry no such automatic entitlement, and neither do parents, siblings, or extended relatives. The person creating an estate plan has broad authority to decide whether those family members inherit anything at all.

One notable state-level exception is worth understanding. Louisiana derived much of its civil law from France and Spain rather than England, and it continues to follow a concept called “forced heirship,” which limits a parent’s ability to disinherit certain children. Forced heirs in Louisiana are children under 24 at the time of the parent’s death, or children of any age who are permanently incapable of managing their own affairs because of a mental or physical condition. Everywhere else in the country, those restrictions simply do not exist.

The bigger danger for most people is doing nothing at all. According to the 2025 Trust and Will Estate Planning Report, which surveyed 10,000 U.S. adults, only 31% of Americans have a will and just 11% have a trust, while 55% have no estate plan of any kind. The picture worsened the following year: the 2026 report, based on a fresh survey of 5,000 U.S. adults, found will ownership had fallen further to just 26%, while the share of Americans with no estate documents at all edged up to 56%. Notably, trust ownership rose from 11% to 14% over the same period, suggesting that those who do act are increasingly choosing more comprehensive planning vehicles. Caring.com’s separate 2025 Wills and Estate Planning Study put will ownership at just 24%, down sharply from 33% in 2022. By any measure, most Americans have left their final wishes entirely unprotected.

When someone dies without instructions in place, state intestacy laws take over and distribute assets strictly along bloodlines. If you have no spouse and three children when you pass away intestate, all three receive an equal share, including any child you might have preferred to receive nothing. The solution is a clear, legally sound estate plan built with an estate planning attorney. One critical detail: disinheriting someone requires an explicit, unambiguous statement in your documents. Leaving a name out is not enough. A court could treat that omission as accidental and award that person a share of your assets, especially if they are a close family member.

Strategic Tools for Restructuring an Estate

Two tools deserve special attention beyond a standard will. A Revocable Living Trust transfers your assets at death without going through probate, the public court process that settles estates. Assets held in a trust bypass probate entirely, meaning a disinherited child has no automatic right to notice and their consent is not required for any transfer. That privacy can substantially reduce the opportunity for a disruptive legal challenge.

Beneficiary designations on bank accounts, brokerage accounts, retirement plans, and life insurance policies work completely outside your will. Outdated designations override your will every single time, regardless of what the document says. Updating Transfer on Death (TOD) and Payable on Death (POD) designations directly on each account is a straightforward step that ensures those assets reach your intended recipients.

A no-contest clause can also add a layer of protection. By stripping an inheritance from anyone who unsuccessfully challenges your will, it raises the stakes of frivolous litigation. Note, however, that this clause has limited effect on a fully disinherited heir, who already stands to receive nothing and therefore has little to lose by challenging.

Consider whether you’ll change your mind, or want to support future generations

Disinheriting a family member is a consequential decision, and one best made with a clear head rather than in the heat of frustration or anger. Before closing the door entirely, consider whether a conditional structure might serve you better than an outright exclusion.

As long as you remain legally competent, you can always revise your estate plan to include a child if a relationship improves. That flexibility cuts both ways: you can also write a conditional bequest that triggers only if specific circumstances change. If your concern is that an heir will squander money or has made choices you find deeply troubling, a complete cutoff is not the only option. You could establish a trust that releases funds only when certain milestones are reached, such as completing a degree, purchasing a home, or maintaining steady employment.

The Power of an Incentive Trust

An incentive trust ties distributions to behaviors or achievements you define in advance. Unlike a traditional trust that provides regular payouts without conditions, an incentive trust releases funds only when a beneficiary meets goals you have specified. The purpose is not to punish family members but to encourage them toward outcomes that reflect your values.

The conditions are highly customizable. Common examples include education (distributions after completing a degree or maintaining certain grades), employment (funds released once the beneficiary secures steady work), and financial responsibility (payouts contingent on demonstrating a budget or avoiding excessive debt). For families dealing with addiction, an incentive trust can be especially valuable. You can require regular drug testing or completion of a rehabilitation program, with funds released only if the beneficiary maintains a substance-free lifestyle.

One practical note: incentive trusts work best when their conditions are objective and measurable. Proof of graduation, income tax returns, and written confirmation of employment all make clean benchmarks. Vague conditions invite disputes between beneficiaries and trustees, and poorly defined terms can actually discourage the independence you hoped to cultivate. Close collaboration with an estate planning attorney on the specific language is essential before finalizing any such arrangement.

Consider directing your estate to charity instead

For anyone who genuinely does not want to leave assets to family, philanthropy offers a meaningful and tax-efficient alternative. According to Cerulli Associates, American households are on track to transfer approximately $124 trillion to heirs and nonprofits through 2048, with roughly $105 trillion flowing to individual heirs and $18 trillion going directly to charity. That makes this the largest intergenerational wealth transfer ever recorded. Redirecting even a portion of that wealth toward causes you care about can create a legacy that outlasts any family dispute.

The simplest approach is a charitable bequest: naming a qualified nonprofit as a beneficiary in your will or revocable living trust. A bequest can be a fixed dollar amount, a percentage of your estate, or a specific asset such as real estate or a brokerage account. Because the designation sits inside a revocable document, it can be changed at any time while you remain competent.

For those age 70 and a half or older, retirement accounts offer an especially tax-efficient giving vehicle. A qualified charitable distribution (QCD) allows a donor to transfer funds directly from an IRA to a qualified charity, satisfying required minimum distributions for the year while keeping those funds out of taxable income entirely. For 2025, the annual QCD limit was $108,000 per donor; that cap rose to $111,000 for 2026, where it is indexed to inflation. The passage of the One Big Beautiful Bill Act in 2025 further raised the appeal of QCDs by restricting the charitable income tax deduction for itemizers, making the QCD route even more advantageous for most retirees. Leaving retirement assets to charity rather than to individual heirs also makes strong financial sense because most heirs who inherit a traditional IRA or 401(k) must withdraw the entire balance within 10 years under current law, generating a significant income tax bill in the process. A charity pays no income tax on those same assets.

A donor-advised fund (DAF) is another flexible option. You can fund a DAF during your lifetime, take an immediate charitable deduction, and then recommend grants to specific organizations over time. Many DAF sponsors allow you to name successor advisors, meaning a trusted friend, advisor, or cause-focused committee can continue directing grants after your death, without the administrative complexity of running a private foundation.

Whatever direction you choose, a financial planner and an estate attorney working together can help you build a plan that reflects your actual values, protects the people and causes you care about most, and holds up if it is ever challenged.

Editor’s note: This pass added the 2026 Trust and Will finding that trust ownership rose to 14% (up from 11% in 2025) among those who do act, incorporated Cerulli’s breakdown of the $124 trillion transfer ($105 trillion to heirs, $18 trillion to charity), and noted that the One Big Beautiful Bill Act’s new restrictions on charitable deductions make QCDs a more attractive giving vehicle for retirees in 2026 and beyond.

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