Many people want to leave money to their children or grandchildren when they pass away. That impulse is far from universal, however. Family relationships can sour, and children or grandchildren can fall short of expectations in ways that feel genuinely painful rather than merely disappointing.
When that happens, knowing your options makes all the difference. You have real choices about where your estate goes after a lifetime of work, and those choices deserve to be protected.
You don’t have to leave an inheritance to family, but you need to make a plan
No law requires you to leave money to your children or grandchildren. Spouses occupy a different legal category: most states give a surviving spouse the right to claim an “elective share” of the estate regardless of what a will says. Children and grandchildren carry no such automatic entitlement. Parents, siblings, grandchildren, and extended relatives generally do not have the same legal protections that spouses do, meaning the person creating an estate plan has broad authority to decide whether these family members inherit anything.
There is one notable state-level exception worth knowing. Louisiana, because it derived much of its civil law from France and Spain rather than England, continues to follow a concept known as “forced heirship,” which imposes certain restrictions on a parent’s ability to disinherit their children. Specifically, forced heirs in Louisiana are children under the age of 24 at the time of the parent’s death, or children of any age who, because of a mental or physical condition, are permanently incapable of managing their own affairs or estate. If you live outside Louisiana, those restrictions do not apply.
The bigger danger for most people is simply doing nothing. According to the 2025 Trust and Will Estate Planning Report, which surveyed 10,000 U.S. adults, only 31% of Americans have a will and just 11% have a trust, while 55% have no estate plan of any kind. Caring.com’s separate 2025 Wills and Estate Planning Study put the number with a will even lower, at just 24%, down sharply from 33% in 2022. Both surveys point in the same direction: most Americans have left their wishes entirely unprotected. When someone dies without instructions in place, state intestacy laws take over, and those laws distribute assets strictly along bloodlines. If you have no spouse and three children when you pass away intestate, all three will receive an equal share, including any child you might have preferred to receive nothing.
The solution is a clear, legally sound estate plan. That means working with an estate planning attorney to draft a will, establish a trust, or both. One critical detail: disinheriting someone requires a clear and unambiguous statement in your estate planning documents. Leaving a name out of your plan is not enough. A court could assume the omission was unintentional and award that person a share of your assets, especially if they are a close family member.
Strategic Tools for Restructuring an Estate
Two tools deserve special attention beyond a standard will. First, a Revocable Living Trust transfers your assets at death without going through probate, which is a public court process. Assets held in a trust avoid probate entirely, meaning a disinherited child is not automatically entitled to notice and their consent is not required for the transfer. That privacy can significantly reduce the opportunity for a disruptive legal challenge.
Second, beneficiary designations on bank accounts, brokerage accounts, retirement plans, and life insurance policies operate completely outside your will. Out-of-date beneficiary designations override your will every time, regardless of what the will says. Updating Transfer on Death (TOD) and Payable on Death (POD) designations directly on each account is a straightforward step that ensures those assets reach your intended recipients.
A no-contest clause, which strips an inheritance from anyone who unsuccessfully challenges your will, can discourage frivolous litigation. You can include such a clause providing that if anyone unsuccessfully challenges the will, that person forfeits all inheritance. Note, however, that this clause has minimal effect on a fully disinherited child, who already stands to receive nothing and therefore has little to lose by challenging.
Consider whether you’ll change your mind, or want to support future generations
Disinheriting family members is a consequential decision, and one best made with a clear head rather than in the heat of frustration or anger. Before closing the door entirely, it is worth considering whether a conditional structure might serve you better than an outright exclusion.
As long as you remain legally competent, you can always revise your estate plan to include a child if a relationship improves. That flexibility cuts both ways: you can also make a conditional bequest that triggers only if specific circumstances change.
For example, if your concern is that an heir will squander money or has made choices you find deeply troubling, you have options beyond a complete cutoff. You could create a trust that releases funds only when certain milestones are reached, such as completing a degree, purchasing a home, or maintaining steady employment.
The Power of an Incentive Trust
An incentive trust is a legal arrangement that ties distributions to behaviors or achievements you define in advance. Unlike a traditional trust that provides regular distributions without restrictions, an incentive trust releases funds only when a beneficiary meets specific goals. The purpose is not to punish family members but to encourage them to pursue outcomes that reflect the values of the person creating the trust.
The conditions are highly customizable. Common examples include education, where beneficiaries receive distributions after completing a degree or maintaining certain grades; employment, where funds are provided once the beneficiary secures steady work; and financial responsibility, where distributions depend on demonstrating a budget or avoiding excessive debt. For families affected by addiction, an incentive trust can be particularly valuable: you can set conditions that promote sobriety, such as requiring regular drug testing or completion of a rehabilitation program, with funds released only if the beneficiary maintains a substance-free lifestyle.
One practical note: incentive trusts are most effective when they include objective measures, such as proof of graduation, income tax returns, or written confirmation of employment. Vague conditions invite disputes between beneficiaries and trustees, and poorly defined terms can lead to misunderstandings or even discourage the very independence you hoped to cultivate. Working closely with an estate planning attorney on the specific language is essential.
Consider directing your estate to charity instead
For anyone who genuinely does not want to leave assets to family members, philanthropy offers a meaningful and tax-efficient alternative. According to projections cited by financial planners, American retirees are expected to transfer roughly $84 trillion to families, friends, and nonprofits over the next two decades, making this one of the largest intergenerational wealth transfers in history. Redirecting even a portion of that wealth toward causes you care about can create a legacy that outlasts any family dispute.
The simplest approach is a charitable bequest: naming a qualified nonprofit as a beneficiary in your will or revocable living trust. A bequest can be a fixed dollar amount, a percentage of your estate, or a specific asset such as real estate or a brokerage account. If named in a revocable trust or will, the designation can be changed at any time while you remain competent.
For those over age 70 and a half, retirement accounts offer an especially tax-efficient giving vehicle. A qualified charitable distribution (QCD) allows a donor to transfer funds directly from an IRA to a qualified charity. This satisfies required minimum distributions for the year while keeping those funds out of taxable income entirely. The QCD limit for 2025 is $108,000 per donor. Leaving retirement assets to charity rather than to individual heirs can also make sense because most heirs who inherit traditional IRA or 401(k) funds must withdraw the entire balance within 10 years under current law, generating a significant income tax bill. A charity pays no income tax on those assets.
A donor-advised fund (DAF) is another flexible option. You can fund a DAF during your lifetime, take an immediate charitable deduction, and then recommend grants to specific organizations over time. Many DAF sponsors allow you to name successor advisors, meaning a trusted friend, advisor, or cause-focused committee can continue directing grants after your death, without the administrative complexity of a private foundation.
Whatever direction you choose, a financial planner and an estate attorney working together can help you build a plan that reflects your actual values, protects the people and causes you do care about, and holds up if it is ever challenged.
Editor’s note: This update adds the Caring.com 2025 Wills and Estate Planning Study finding that only 24% of adults now report having a will (down from 33% in 2022), incorporates a new section on charitable giving as an alternative to family inheritance (including the 2025 qualified charitable distribution limit of $108,000 per donor and the projected $84 trillion great wealth transfer), and notes the tax disadvantage heirs face when inheriting traditional retirement accounts under current 10-year withdrawal rules.
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