‘This Guy Ought to Have His Butt Kicked Up Around His Neck’: Dave Ramsey to Nurse Whose Ex Pays $50 a Month for Two Kids

“This guy ought to have his butt kicked up around his neck and wear it like a collar.” That was Dave Ramsey’s reaction on The Ramsey Show after a caller named Jamie said her ex pays $50 a month in child support for their two kids.

Jamie is a nurse outside Philadelphia. She earns about $85,000 and takes home roughly $5,000 a month after taxes, health insurance and her 401(k).

Her rent is $2,300 a month for a two-bedroom apartment shared with two kids. That’s 46% of her take-home pay gone before groceries, gas or child care.

Her ex makes about $120,000 to $130,000 a year. His stated position: if she can’t afford the kids, he’ll raise them with his mother. An every-other-weekend custody arrangement keeps her from moving somewhere cheaper.

She has about $40,000 saved, and she asked the debt guy the debt question: lawyers or debt? Ramsey told her to fight, to take her ex down “just for the hobby of it,” and to stop her 4% 401(k) contribution. Co-host George Kamel figured that would put about $3,300 to $3,400 a year back into her paychecks.

Ramsey Picked the Right Fight and Overpaid for It

Ramsey’s instinct is correct. Going after fair child support is the highest-return move Jamie has. Spending all $40,000 and shutting off her retirement savings to get there is a costly mistake.

Start with the size of the gap. Median weekly earnings for full-time U.S. workers were $1,251 in the second quarter of 2026, or about $65,000 a year. Jamie’s ex makes roughly double that.

His $600 a year in support equals 0.5% of a $120,000 salary. Pennsylvania’s child support guidelines weigh both parents’ income, the number of children involved, and the parenting schedule. A higher earner with every-other-weekend custody would typically owe far more.

Say a court sets support to $1,000 a month. That’s $12,000 a year. Even if Jamie spent the full $40,000, she’d recover it in about 3.3 years, and the checks keep coming until the kids age out.

One Question Decides Whether the $40,000 Pays Off

The variable is what the money actually buys: a support order or a relocation fight.

A support modification produces cash every month. In Pennsylvania, support cases run through the county Domestic Relations Section, and that step usually costs a fraction of a full custody battle. The return is real from day one.

Jamie’s stated goal was winning the right to move. Contested relocation is where custody bills climb, and a win carries no guarantee. If she loses, the savings are gone and she’s still paying $2,300 in rent.

Compare that with her debt. On average, credit card APR sits near 21%. Every $10,000 of card balance at that rate costs about $2,119 a year in interest. Paying it off is a guaranteed return. Relocation litigation carries no guaranteed return.

Stopping the 401(k) Could Cost Double the Cash It Frees

Vanguard’s How America Saves report puts the median promised employer match at 4% of pay. Fidelity says the most popular match formula covers 100% on the first 3% of an employee’s contribution, 50% on the next 2%.

Suppose Jamie’s employer matches her 4% dollar for dollar. Stopping contributions releases $3,400 of her own pay and gives up another $3,400 in employer money. That’s $6,800 a year pulled from retirement to free up half that amount in cash.

Moves to Make Before You Write a Retainer Check

1. File for support separately and first. Pennsylvania’s child support program offers an online calculator. Enter both incomes and the custody schedule to see what guideline support could look like before you pay anyone.
2. Get a written cost estimate that splits the support case from the relocation case. If a lawyer bundles them, ask for separate budgets so you know what each fight costs and what each one could return.
3. Check your plan’s match formula before touching your 401(k). Keep contributing at least enough to capture the full match. If your employer offers no match, stopping contributions to fund a short-term fight is a reasonable cash move.
4. Fence the $40,000. Set a hard litigation ceiling, keep a few months of expenses as an emergency fund, and send the remainder to your highest-rate debt. If the relocation case would blow through the ceiling, that tells you the price of moving.

Ramsey was right that $50 a month is worth fighting, and the smart way to fight is to spend the least money on the case that pays the most back.

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