Steven Spielberg’s Prenup Was Written on a Napkin and It Cost Him $100 Million. The Five Rules That Decide Whether Yours Would Survive

If you’re engaged, remarrying, or already married with a prenup gathering dust in a drawer, this one’s for you. According to press accounts, Steven Spielberg’s first prenuptial agreement with Amy Irving was written on a napkin and later thrown out, a mistake widely reported to have cost him roughly $100 million in their 1989 divorce. The exact figure and circumstances are disputed, but the lesson is not: a prenup is only as strong as the five boring rules almost nobody follows.

Here’s the buried truth. A prenup is a contract, and judges toss contracts for the same reasons every day: one side hid money, one side had no lawyer, one side signed under pressure, the paperwork was sloppy, or the terms were so lopsided they shocked the court. Miss any one of those and your agreement can be voided years later, when you have the most to lose.

The Legal Backbone

Prenups in the U.S. are governed at the state level, but 28 states plus D.C. have adopted some version of the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act (UPAA) or its successor, the Uniform Premarital and Marital Agreements Act (UPMAA). Both statutes list the specific grounds a court uses to throw an agreement out: involuntary signing, lack of disclosure, and unconscionable terms. Federal law also matters for one piece: under ERISA and the Retirement Equity Act of 1984, a fiancé(e) cannot waive rights to a spouse’s 401(k) or pension in a prenup. Only a spouse can, after the wedding, in a separately signed postnup. Miss that and your “waiver” of retirement accounts is worthless.

Rule 1: Full Financial Disclosure

Each party must hand over a complete, written schedule of assets, debts, and income before signing. Bank statements, brokerage accounts, business interests, crypto, stock options, expected inheritances, the debts too. If you “forgot” the rental property in Phoenix or the RSUs vesting next year, a judge can strike the whole agreement for fraud. Attach the disclosures as exhibits to the prenup itself. Do not rely on verbal conversations.

Rule 2: Two Lawyers, Not One

Each party needs independent legal counsel. Not the same firm. Not “my lawyer will explain it to you.” Courts routinely void prenups where one side was unrepresented, especially if that side had less money, less English fluency, or less legal sophistication. If your partner refuses to hire their own attorney, the document must include a clear, signed waiver of counsel, and even then judges look at it skeptically. Pay for their lawyer if you have to. It’s cheaper than litigation.

Rule 3: No Rush, No Pressure

California requires a mandatory 7-day review period between the final draft and the signing under Family Code §1615. Most other states don’t set a hard number, but a prenup signed the night before the wedding, at the rehearsal dinner, or on a napkin at a restaurant is a textbook coercion argument. Aim for at least 30 days before the wedding, ideally more. Document the timeline. Keep the emails.

Rule 4: Get the Paperwork Right

Prenups must be in writing, signed by both parties, and in many states notarized. Verbal agreements are unenforceable everywhere. The document should identify the state law that governs it, spell out what’s separate property versus marital property, address spousal support (some states let you waive it, some don’t), and be executed before the marriage license is used. A napkin, a text thread, or a Google Doc without signatures will not survive a challenge.

Rule 5: Terms a Judge Won’t Gag On

Even a perfectly executed prenup gets tossed if the terms are “unconscionable” at the time of enforcement. Leaving a spouse of 20 years with nothing while you keep tens of millions is the classic red flag. Courts also refuse to enforce child support or custody terms in prenups. Those belong to the kid, not the parents, and a judge decides at divorce. Sunset clauses, step-ups tied to years married, and lump-sum payments help agreements read as fair rather than punitive.

The Catch

Even a bulletproof prenup can be undone by how you behave during the marriage. Commingle funds, retitle the house into joint names, or deposit your separate inheritance into a joint checking account and you convert separate property into marital property. The document protects what you keep separate. If you don’t keep it separate, no piece of paper will save you.

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