America Has Never Been Richer. So Why Are Retirees Lonelier Than Ever?
America's total net worth just crossed $190 trillion, yet men over 75 now carry the nation's highest suicide rate. Wes Moss says the crisis has nothing to do with money, and his research reveals the one number that predicts whether…
This post may contain links from our sponsors and affiliates, and Flywheel Publishing may receive compensation for actions taken through them.
Wes Moss checked total US net worth in the Federal Reserve Economic Database (FRED). He found that in 2016, it was about $90 trillion. Today, it’s more than doubled in a decade to $190 trillion.
On The Clark Howard Podcast, Moss was asked why men 75 and older have the highest suicide rate. He gave the other side of the story: “I don’t think it’s a wealth problem because America is as wealthy as it’s ever been. I think it’s a purpose and a connection problem.”
If you’re close to retiring, this matters. You can hit your savings target and still end up in an empty retirement. A bigger risk is the social network that disappears when paychecks stop.
Moss Has the Diagnosis Right, and Demographics Back Him Up
Moss is right. He links the paradox to an aging country: “A little over 4 million people last year turned 65. Same thing this year.” Then he asks: “Who gets hit hardest by that purpose vacuum? It’s 60 plus. Who gets hit by the friendship recession? It’s the 60 plus.”
The numbers back him up. “About 1 in 4 adults in the United States age 65 and older are socially isolated.” The share of Americans with zero friends has “gone from 3% in 1990 to 17% in 2024.”
Age makes friendship harder. 82% of Americans in their thirties say making close friends is easy. Only 34% in their sixties do. Your job supplies friendships without effort. Retirement cuts off that supply when new friends get hardest to make.
Where Extra Money Stops Buying Extra Happiness
Moss takes money seriously. His research shows happiness rising once investable assets reach $1 million or more, a level he calls the Green Zone. Above that point, happiness rises at a diminishing rate. Each extra dollar buys less happiness than the one before.
Moss, who takes listener questions at wesmoss.com/ask, lays out his retirement framework in The Retire Sooner Method.
His friendship data doesn’t drop. His book identifies 3.6 close friends as the tipping point, and people with five or more sit above the US happiness baseline. Asked whether they have enough close friends, 81% of happy retirees said yes, compared with 38% of unhappy retirees.
Your Friend Count Decides How Retirement Feels
Picture two retirees with $1.2 million each. One leaves work with two close friends, both coworkers. Then the losses start: “People divorce, people move, people die.” She ends up in the one-to-two-friend range, well below the happiness baseline.
The other retiree starts with five close friends from a golf group, church, and dinner club. The same losses hit, but she still has a buffer near the 3.6 threshold. Both had the same money and ended up in very different places.
Build Your Habits the Way You Diversify a Portfolio
Moss doesn’t believe in a single fix. “I really look at it as a collection of let’s do as many of these habits or parameters that move us in the direction of the happier retiree,” he said. His book puts numbers on that collection:
- Core interests: Happy retirees average five or more of these “hobbies on steroids.” Unhappy retirees have four or fewer.
- Social interests: Happy retirees have 1.5 social core pursuits versus 1.0. A walking group or a dinner club gives you an activity and friendships at the same time.
- Exercise: Happy retirees average one hour a day versus forty-five minutes. Moss calls those extra fifteen minutes the easiest happiness hack in the book.
- A written plan: Happy retirees are twice as likely to have a formal written financial plan.
What to Do Before Your Last Day at Work
- Count your close friends today, excluding coworkers. If you’re under four, building friendships should come first in your retirement plan.
- Draw a life map. Write six to ten values, circle your top three or four, and list interests that fit each one. The best age to start is 40.
- Look at community when choosing where to live. Check for clubs, walkable streets, and proximity to family, along with climate and cost.
- Fix one gap at a time. “Don’t try to fix everything at once. Pick one and make a plan for how you’re going to address it.”
Your portfolio pays for retirement, and your friendships decide whether you enjoy it.
Contact [email protected] for any questions or corrections.
Jake has been been working in financial media for almost 15 years. He focuses on all things personal finance for 24/7 Wall St. with high hopes to educate and entertain. Most recently, Jake spent 12 years working various roles at The Motley Fool. He started copy editing fool.com content, worked on premium and marketing campaigns, and helped launch The Ascent, a personal finance brand.
His work has been featured on platforms like MSN, Yahoo Finance, USA Today, and more. He's written about credit cards, social security, ETFs, savings accounts, and just about anything else you can imagine when thinking about money. Jake love to cook, play golf, and tell people he's never had a cavity. (It's true!)
