6. Boss Hog’s Bacon Olive Oil
Olive oil is one of the world’s healthiest foods, full of fatty acids and other beneficial compounds, including antioxidants. Some studies have even suggested that it might help prevent cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and Alzheimer’s. It’s the much-praised Mediterranean diet in a bottle. Introducing bacon into olive oil, even as mere flavoring, sort of seems to miss the point.
7. Capsule Depot Bacon Flavored Capsules
Capsule Depot, based in Ontario, Canada, describes itself as the world’s largest online supplier of empty capsules. These are bought wholesale by health-related businesses, are filled with some kind of medicine or nutritional supplement, and end up at your local pharmacy or nutrition store. For some reason, the Depot folks thought that flavoring some of their capsules with bacon would encourage consumers to take more pills. Actually, as Mary Poppins taught us long ago, it’s a spoonful of sugar, not a capsule of bacon, that helps the medicine go down.
8. Chocolate Storybook Bacon Cotton Candy
Cotton candy is basically threads of spun caramelized sugar, so light that when it was invented in the late 1800s, it was called “fairy floss” (the term “cotton candy” gained currency in the 1920s). Standard pink cotton candy is flavored with vanilla, but the Iowa-based confectionery Chocolate Storybook creates more than 50 other flavors. Some of these, like banana, grape, Key lime, and pumpkin pie, seem perfectly reasonable. Others — chardonnay, margarita, spicy jalapeño, buttered popcorn — are a little more questionable. But bacon? Fatty and crispy grafted onto light and flossy? No.
9. The Cravory Pancakes and Bacon Cookies
Pancakes and bacon, yum. Pancake-dough cookies embedded with shards of real bacon, as made by The Cravory, a group of cookie shops in the San Diego area? Well, okay. But when the pancakes and bacon are in cookie form, you can’t very well add butter and maple syrup — at least not with any dignity — and butter and maple syrup are half the fun.
10. Firehouse Flavors Bacon & Cheese Crick-ettes
It is said that at least 2 billion people worldwide eat insects regularly, and scientists tell us that they’re a nutritious and an environmentally friendly food source. Ohio’s Firehouse Flavors, which sells a wide range of flavoring mixes, seasonings, and spicy foods, is apparently trying to lure us all into the insect camp by enhancing crickets with bacon and cheese (among other flavorings) and positioning them as crunchy snacks. Sorry. We’ll just have the Doritos, thanks.