My Husband Claims He Wants to Retire Early But He’s a Big Spender

A Reddit user is struggling with some concerning behavior from her husband with regards to their finances. The poster said her husband has told her that he wants to retire early and is making that a priority. And the couple has plenty of income to make that happen, as they have good incomes are potentially on track to receive a $500,000 bonus this year. 

However, instead of saving and investing to achieve that goal of early retirement, her husband wants to spend a substantial amount of the money on fun purchases, including a very expensive $200,000 on a Mercedes G-Class SUV, which he claims can be a tax write-off for his business.

The poster isn’t sure how to reconcile this with his stated goals, and she’s not really on board with that spending, so the couple is at a standstill. 

How to cope when one spouse is a big spender and the other isn’t

This couple is facing a common problem that many experience. There is a fundamental disconnect between them regarding their spending philosophies and attitudes. And, while the original poster (OP) says that her husband has expressed an interest in retiring early, the simple fact is that his behavior shows that he may not be committed to that goal if it means giving up spending on fun stuff during his working life. 

Redditors were split on the advice that they gave to the OP on this issue, with some suggesting that she shut down this talk of spending and write-offs by pointing out that while they may save some on taxes, they’ll still be spending a lot while others believe that since the couple’s income is so high, they can afford to both save for retirement and buy nice cars and other toys that the husband might want. 

Ultimately, it’s possible that both perspectives may be correct. The couple may have the funds to do both, but the husband’s spending may also be out of control, even with the substantial income they have. The best way for the couple to deal with this is to sit down, discuss their financial goals, and build a budget that supports them. 

A financial advisor can help the couple create a viable spending plan

If the couple gets specific about shared goals, they can create a budget that allocates a specific amount to achieve them — which they both commit to following. For example, depending on how much they already have invested and how early they want to retire, they may decide they need to save $1,000 a month, $5,000 a month, $10,000 per month, or more in order to hit their target goal for their retirement at their chosen date. 

Once they have factored in saving and essential spending, they will know how much they have left over to use for fun things. They can allocate a set amount to each of them to spend with no questions asked, so the husband may be able to buy his fancy car without guilt or problems — and the wife should be OK with that since they’ve made sure they are on track with savings first.

A financial advisor can help with these steps, working with the couple to ensure that they have realistic goals that will provide the financial security they are looking for and that they are on track to achieve those goals while still reserving some funds to enjoy life today.