Plenty of Retirees Move to Be Near the Grandkids and Wish They Hadn’t Within Three Years. One Reason Comes Up Every Time
Thousands of retirees sell everything, pack up, and move across the country to be near the grandkids, only to find themselves stranded in a stranger's city within a few years. The reason it keeps happening is hiding in plain sight…
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The house sold in a weekend, and the new place is ten minutes from your daughter’s, close enough that the first Sunday dinner ends with a toddler asleep on your shoulder. Wanting that is about as natural a retirement goal as there is.
Still, if you watch enough couples make this move, you see it break down in the same spot again and again. This piece covers that one reason, what it costs when it happens, and how to set up the move so it lasts.
When the Kids Pack Up Again, You’re Left Holding the House
Families in their 30s move for work, and that’s what usually breaks the plan. Advisors at Harlow Wealth say it simply: “Adult children may relocate because of careers, housing, relationships, or educational opportunities.” One parent on a Washington, D.C. parenting forum said they knew a few grandparents who moved closer, only to find their children later wanted to relocate for better job opportunities.
Retirees, meanwhile, rarely move: Census research cited by Harlow found that about 6.2% of adults 65 and older moved in a typical year from 2015 through 2019, and only about 19.7% of those moves crossed state lines. So grandparents make a rare, expensive move, while kids make a routine one. You picked a city for one reason, and that reason can rent a moving truck.
What a Second Move Really Costs
Take a $450,000 house as an example. Agent commissions usually run 5% to 6% of the sale price, and buyer closing costs run 2% to 5%. Selling one house and buying the next costs $31,500 to $49,500 before you pay a single mover. Move twice, once for the kids and again after they leave, and you’re out $63,000 to $99,000. Using the standard 4% rule, that’s $2,520 to $3,960 a year of retirement income gone for good. Compare that with the average Social Security check for a retired couple, $3,208 a month.
Everyday costs rise too, because young families tend to settle in pricier places. The Bureau of Economic Analysis puts Iowa’s cost of living at 87.762 and Colorado’s at 103.052, against a national average of 100. That’s about a 15-point gap in rent, groceries, and everything else. IRS migration data also show that Texas is Colorado’s top destination for people leaving, so the kids may not stay put either.
Taxes can go either way. Tax Foundation figures put the income-adjusted state and local tax burden at $5,110 per person in Florida and $6,176 in Georgia. That matters because Georgia drew the most Florida tax filers, 28,263 returns.
Your Medicare Plan Can Fall Out From Under You
Each Medicare Advantage plan is tied to a specific service area. According to Medicare.gov, if you move outside that area, you can switch plans or return to Original Medicare. That window begins when you move and continues for 2 full months after. If you tell your plan ahead of time, it opens up the month before you move.
If you miss it, you’re put into Original Medicare when the old plan drops you. If you move twice, you do all of this twice, plus you have to find new doctors each time. Part B costs $202.90 a month no matter where you live. Your in-network doctors change with every move.
A few other things come up too. You leave behind friends and a church community you’ve built over decades. The kids’ calendars are packed with soccer and work. Seeing in-laws every week can wear on everyone. Each one hurts, but a job offer in another city is the more common reason these moves fall through.
How to Make the Move Without Regret
Rent for a year before you buy. That way, you pay no selling or buying costs until you know the kids will stay and you like the place. Before you move, talk through childcare in specific terms: how many days a week, and whether it’s paid. Keep some life of your own going, like a club, a volunteer job, or a gym, so the move still works on weeks you don’t see the grandkids.
Living farther away is common anyway, as AARP found that more than half of grandparents have at least one grandchild living more than 200 miles away. This suggests planning the move as a possible round trip. Set aside $63,000 to $99,000 for a $450,000 home, or rent and avoid most of that cost. Keep your withdrawals at about 4% so that a surprise second move doesn’t push you onto a rate you can’t maintain.
Check your Medicare Advantage dates before the truck shows up. Then ask the kids one question before you list the house: if a better job came along in another city in the next five years, would you take it? If they pause before answering, rent first.
Contact [email protected] for any questions or corrections.
David Beren has been a Flywheel Publishing contributor since 2022. Writing for 24/7 Wall St. since 2023, David loves to write about topics of all shapes and sizes. As a technology expert, David focuses heavily on consumer electronics brands, automobiles, and general technology. He has previously written for LifeWire, formerly About.com. As a part-time freelance writer, David’s “day job” has been working on and leading social media for multiple Fortune 100 brands. David loves the flexibility of this field and its ability to reach customers exactly where they like to spend their time. Additionally, David previously published his own blog, TmoNews.com, which reached 3 million readers in its first year. In addition to freelance and social media work, David loves to spend time with his family and children and relive the glory days of video game consoles by playing any retro game console he can get his hands on.
