Retirees Who Moved Near the Grandkids Say the Kids Had One Request They Never Saw Coming

Moving closer to grandchildren is a common retirement plan, usually centered on finding the right house. Couples compare home prices, property taxes, and book movers. Within months of unpacking, adult children typically ask whether Grandma and Grandpa could watch the baby during the week. That request changes the budget, calendar, and portfolio target, and most of all, the freedom that comes with retirement.

Pricing a Move to the Raleigh Area

To start, North Carolina is a representative destination, as the state’s cost-of-living index is 94.326, compared with a national baseline of 100, and it does not tax Social Security income. Its income-adjusted state and local tax burden is $6,021 per person. In the Raleigh-Cary market, the median list price is $450K, with homes sitting for 59 days. Existing home sales nationally run at a 3.98M annualized pace, so selling the old house can take longer than expected.

Here is an annual budget for a couple aged 67 buying that median home with cash from selling their previous house:

• Property taxes and homeowners insurance: about $5,400
• Home maintenance: about $4,500
• Utilities: about $4,800
• Medicare Part B for two people at $202.90 a month each: $4,870
• Medigap, Part D, and dental: about $7,000
• Food, including meals out: about $12,000
• Transportation and car insurance: about $7,000
• Grandchild spending such as gifts, activities, and birthdays: about $6,000
• Travel and personal spending: about $8,000
• Reserves for a replacement car and emergencies: about $8,000
• Federal tax on withdrawals: about $5,000

That totals about $72,600. The average U.S. household spent $78,535. The CPI rose 3.4% over the past year, and the 2027 COLA is tracking toward 3.3%.

Turning That Budget Into a Portfolio Target

A retired couple receiving average benefits takes in about $3,208 a month, or $38,496 a year. That leaves an annual gap of about $34,100 for the portfolio to cover. At a 4% withdrawal rate over a 30-year horizon starting at 67, the target is roughly $852,000 in broad index funds and a treasury ladder.

If both partners wait until 70, benefits rise by about 24%, and the portfolio target drops to roughly $621,000. The catch is the portfolio must cover the full budget from 67 to 70, so that choice depends on having enough cash set aside for those three years.

A Childcare Request Nobody Budgeted For

With budget considerations out of the way, it’s time to turn attention to the request grandparents didn’t specifically ask for. Almost 1 in 4 children under age 5 is cared for regularly by a grandparent. A University of Michigan poll found that 10% of grandparents aged 50 to 64 provide daily or near-daily care, compared with 6% of those 65 and older.

Child Care Aware puts the national average cost of child care at $13,184 a year. Grandparents agreeing to weekday care take on close to a full-time job with no pay, potentially giving up part-time work and travel. If grandparents pay for daycare instead, the annual gap grows by the full daycare bill, and the portfolio target at 4% rises to about $1.18 million. Four years of daycare for one child costs about $52,736.

A second risk follows: adult children move for work. If grandparents follow, selling a $450K home with a 6% commission costs about $27,000, before moving and closing costs on the next house.

What This Move Actually Requires

With a paid-off home near grandchildren and average Social Security benefits, this retirement takes about $850,000 invested at a 4% withdrawal rate. Delaying Social Security to 70 brings that down to about $620,000, provided there is enough cash to cover the three waiting years. If the family needs help paying for child care, the target is closer to $1.2 million. Some couples rent the first year before buying, which brings down the cost of moving again if the family relocates.

Child care is the factor most likely to change the outcome. Agreeing on the terms in writing before the move (which days, for how many years, and whether any money changes hands) determines whether the plan rests on an $850,000 portfolio or a $1.2 million one.

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