My parents have hidden their multi-million dollar net worth my whole life and I feel bamboozled

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By Christy Bieber Published
My parents have hidden their multi-million dollar net worth my whole life and I feel bamboozled

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Do your parents have an obligation to tell you if they are rich? This is the question recently raised by a Reddit poster. The original poster (OP), who is 25, said he grew up in a nice neighborhood and his parents paid for his extracurriculars in a nice school district, as well as covering the cost of his college degree. However, they did not lead a lavish lifestyle and he thought they scrimped and saved to provide for him. 

In reality, however, his parents were worth a ton of money. He recently discovered some documents in his house showing his parents had a net worth of more than $10 million since he was an infant. He is now angry that this wasn’t disclosed to him earlier, and he believes he is entitled to a full accounting of their wealth now. 

Is the OP right to be mad, or did his parents do the right thing?

Kids don’t have a right to know their parent’s net worth

The Reddit post had many comments, and the opinions were nearly unanimous. The OP’s parents did not have any obligation to share details of their finances, either in the past or the future. The OP didn’t have the right to be angry at his parents for not offering details about their wealth in the past and he had no right to demand they tell him anything now.

Many posters went even further, calling the OP entitled and saying if he was their child he would be cut out of the will based on the way he is acting. These comments make good sense because parents have no obligation to share the details of their net worth with their kids.

While parents do have an obligation to provide the basics, the OP’s mom and dad went far beyond doing that. He admitted they paid for college, took regular vacations, and covered the costs of all he needed including buying a car for him and his sister to share. They didn’t deprive him of anything and, in fact, he had more than many kids do. 

Sometimes, it can be better for kids not to grow up with lavish wealth

Top Secret Documents On Table

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Looking at the OP’s story, it seems very clear that the parents in this situation not only didn’t do anything wrong — they did something right.

The Redditor said at the start that because he didn’t feel his parents were wealthy, he was very motivated to work hard to try to lead a good life for himself. He’s managed to do well in school and set himself up to enter a lucrative profession, and if he knew his parents had millions, he may not have developed such a strong work ethic. 

Rich parents often must be careful that their children don’t count on inheriting and end up unmotivated because of it. It’s important to ensure that kids know they are expected to make their own way, and that children don’t end up spoiled and entitled. Not providing a lavish lifestyle and a full accounting of their wealth seems to be a good way to do that. 

Instead of being mad at his parents, the OP should thank them for the good life they provided, and for helping to ensure he had the desire to study, work hard, and set himself up for career success. Perhaps one day when he has children of his own, if he is lucky enough to have a lot of money, he will decide their path was the right one all along.

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About the Author Christy Bieber →

Christy Bieber has been a personal finance and legal writer since 2008. She has a JD from UCLA School of Law and a BA in English, Media and Communications with a certification in business from the University of Rochester.  

Christy has been published by a wide variety of sites, including WSJ Buy Side, Forbes,  Kiplinger, Fox Business, Credit Karma, Insurify, and Annuity.org. In addition to writing for the web, she has also ghostwritten textbooks on business and law and served as a subject matter expert for course design. 

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